just me ranting again

Monday morning I go back to the OB for my six-week check and hopefully I will get the all-clear to resume normal activities. This, to me, means returning to the gym and I have to say I am a little bit scared. I have had times in the last 15 years or so where I have been what I called "out of shape" but my Today Body laughs at my Then Body when it hears that. I have NEVER been THIS out of shape in my whole life and I really don't know where to begin to get it all back.

I've been reading about things you should and shouldn't do to begin regaining your abdominal muscles. (Abs? Where are you abs? I'm looking for them on the side of milk cartons. I have put out an Amber Alert for my abs because they are gone-er than gone.) Everything says to start slowly with leg lifts and to try to do a sit-up right now is actually going to do more harm than good so I guess that is where I start. I'm thinking about dusting off my Prenatal Pilates DVD and try that out because it actually had some core work in it. (Which is why I promptly stopped playing it 4 months ago and put it back on the bookshelf.)

I have been trying to be more aware of holding in my stomach while I am sitting and walking and I have been walking a lot every day, usually in the morning with Jack in the stroller for 1 1/2 to 2 hours and in the afternoon with Chewy, usually for a much shorter time. I weighed myself at Publix 2 days ago and I have lost another 2 pounds since last week so I am hoping that after an active weekend, I may have less than 15 pounds left to go by the big weigh-in at the doctor. The thing is, I can't lose too much weight too quickly because I am still breast feeding and intend to continue doing so for a few months and losing too much weight and working out too hard can affect supply so I have to be very careful how I do things. At the same time, I know that my agency is expecting me to get back to work before the season is over the end of April or so, and to be honest, I expect myself to also, but maybe I need to lower my expectations a little bit? I gained 50 pounds in 9 months and I probably should not expect to lose it in 2 months or less. But it would be nice.

Anyway, yesterday we went to the dog park and Jack slept and Chewy ran and everyone had some fun.

rollercoaster, thy name is pregnancy

What a weekend.

It's amazing how your moods can change from one day to the next when you are as pregnant as I am. The hormones can really mess with your head some days and Saturday was one of those days. I woke up feeling like I was never going to be ready enough for this baby or be a good mom and, even worse, that this baby was never going to come and I was going to feel like this forever. I was not the nicesst person in the world and Chris is honestly the last person who deserves my bad attitude, but I took it all out on him anyway and then felt even worse for doing it.

Eventually, I got it together and we went to a baby CPR and First Aid class and then back to Babies R Us to return the mattress and pick up (almost) the last of the baby necessities.

Then on Sunday, I woke up feeling great, with an incredible burst of energy and started doing laundry, washed all the crib and bassinet sheets, blankets, burp cloths, whatever I could get my hands on and mopped the floors. This was the most energy I have had in weeks (months?) and it felt really good. I actually feel decent today too and that is a nice relief after the way I've been feeling lately, and it makes me feel like maybe I will feel normal again one day after all. It is also what I think has kept me from completely freaking out about the other thing that is bothering me, which is my absolute HATE HATE WHITE-HOT HATRED for clothes.

I mainly have a problem with pants. They are my absolute nemesis, my Kryptonite, my achilles heel. I know I have mentioned this before, but the situation has gotten even more critical lately with each centimeter that my thighs have grown ( I am not even going to venture a guess as to how many centimeters that is, I just know that it's a lot of them and I hate them all). I have 2 pairs of maternity jeans and they are just no longer wearable. I tried to put a pair on today and almost cried. I know there are much worse things that could be happening and I should be happy that I am healthy and the baby's healthy but there just comes a time where I am so sick of being uncomfortable. I know I said that I was going to just give up and wear sweatpants every day but I am also so tired of looking like a total slob all the time and the worst part was this morning when I put on this dress:




(as worn this summer when it was still just a normal looking tent-dress.)

and it was so tight, it looked absolutely ridiculous. This is a dress that I bought with the thought that it was so huge and tent-like that I could wear it til the day I give birth and there was no thought that I would ever be able to fill it out the way that I did this morning. Of course this is not the first time that I underestimated the enormousness that I was really going to achieve, for example these pants:

that I bought in June with the same idea; that they were so gigantic that I would never not fit them. My thighs mock those pants now. They barely fit over my knees.

The good news is that 2 weeks from today, I will be holding my little boy and my bad moods and pants and my offending thighs will be the last thing on my mind and that is exactly all I need to think about to get me through all of this.

So take that, PANTS!!!

ugh

After much deliberation, I got a flu shot yesterday.

I never thought twice about getting a flu shot in the past. Either it was offered at the doctor's office and I got it or I didn't even think about it. My OB suggested that I get one a couple of months ago because it helps to immunize the baby for the few months after he is born when it is still flu season, (a newborn cannot get a flu shot, even though the hospital seems to load up babies with all kinds of other crazy shots in the couple of days after they are born, much to my paranoid-mother-to-be-dismay) and that sounded like it made enough sense to me, so I called my GP and asked about getting a flu shot.

This is where things started to get a little kerflunky.

Seems my GP does not believe in giving pregnant women flu shots and flat-out denied me. hmmmm... That made me think for a minute. Then, I went to a Walgreens where they offer flu shots and the NP would not give me one unless I got a note from my doctor. OK, this is when I started getting a little freaked out. So I did what anyone would do and got on my old pal Dr.google and started looking. And I found waaaay more information than I really wanted. I talked to other pregnant girls. I talked to girls who were pregnant last flu season. I asked Chewy his opinion ( he didn't really give me an answer but he did remind me of what happened when he didn't get his shots he was supposed to get. I assured him that I would not be fined by the county for not getting a flu shot, but thanks for the reminder)

After all of this, I was more confused than ever. Seems the opinions fluctuate from somewhere in the neighborhood of:
"YOU WILL GIVE YOUR BABY IRREPARABLE BRAIN DAMAGE AND/OR SCHIZOPHRENIA AND/OR AUTISM IF YOU GET THIS SHOT!"
to:
"IF YOU LOVE YOUR BABY AT ALL, YOU WILL GET THE FLU SHOT BECAUSE THE FEVER AND POTENTIAL INFECTION FROM THE FLU COULD GIVE HIM BRAIN DAMAGE AND/OR KILL HIM!" to a couple of opinions in the center of the two but enough hysteria is produced by the mere mention of a immunization that I just had to stop reading (after an hour or two and a couple of frantic phone calls to Chris and friends who already have children).

I put it off for a couple of more weeks and spoke to my OB again when I saw him this last time and he assured me that the shot if perfectly safe for me and the baby and that the chance of getting the flu late in the pregnancy and it causing some sort of complication is far greater than anything bad happening from the shot itself.

So, I found a very nice NP at the local CVS Minute Clinic , (who actually had a thimerosal-free shot specially sent from Ft. Lauderdale for me) and got it done.
The end.
And I am going to just not worry about it anymore. Because all this motherhood worrying stuff is exhausting.
Now I need some brownies.

typing with one eye open

Well, I cannot promise to be much more coherent then I was yesterday because I have definitely hit a wall when it comes to sleeping. It seems like just when I think it is as bad as it can be (the peeing, the waking up starving) even worse things come up (leg cramps, sore hips, stiff back) and I find myself grateful when I only wake up 3-4 times in the night instead of what feels like every 10 minutes. I wake up most days already exhausted but staying in bed is not an option because the stiffness and soreness hits a peak after 8 hours or so and only getting up and moving around makes it feel better so sleep is no longer an option after 7:30 AM or so.


Anyway, that's the story of why I walk around in a haze now and why it has become so difficult to write a real post the last few days. I was hoping it was just a post-trip hangover but am beginning to understand that it is instead the new status-quo. So, I will adjust, it just might take a little while.

Now, about my trip.


NJ is so beautiful this time of year, with the leaves changing, and I am really glad I got to see it for a couple of days. It was also incredibly, unseasonable cold so I didn't spend much time outside except for a brisk walk Monday morning with Cathy to get some exercise and check out the changing leaves and suburban Halloween decorations.

The shower itself was so overwhelming, with so many people and presents and I felt such love and gratefulness to everyone. I don't know if I can ever fully express how warm and fuzzy it all made me feel. My sisters, Cathy, Beth and Nancy, really went above and beyond in everything, from the invitations, decorations, cake, preparations, etc. They really thought of everything and on top of it all, gave us some really generous gifts, including a gorgeous quilt that Nancy made herself.


They even thought of what to do with all the gifts that were brought to the shower and will be shipping it down here to me this week. (and I, like a little kid, can hardly wait for it all to get here, though I really have a big job ahead of me now, making room for everything in our not-so-big apartment) We have already received a lot of big things (swing, bouncy seat, bassinet) all of which are still in boxes in the guest room/future baby's room but Chris and I discussed last night exactly how we will arrange things to make room for those things as well as the crib and dresser/changing table that we have yet to buy. Also, the room really needs to be painted (as well as our bedroom) and as much as I don't want to do it, my baby is not coming home to a house with scuffed-up walls, it just won't happen, and I think this may be the beginning of what "they" refer to as NESTING....


In other news, I went to see another pediatrician today and now we need to decide if we want to go to a big practice with slick offices and lots of doctors or a small practice in a charming office and only one doctor. There are many other things to take into consideration but for the most part, those are the big differences between the two and personality-wise, I really like them both so we will see. I don't have to decide until right before Kumar is born so I have a little bit of time to (obsess) weigh things.


On the way home from the pediatrician, I decided to give Kumar his first lesson in exercising his rights as a U.S. citizen.

I let him wear the sticker.

is it too late to re-think this whole thing?

Today I went to the hospital for a tour of Labor and Maternity. It was.....not as reassuring as I thought it would be. I think I'm going to need a little more time for it to all sink in before I fully talk about it but I will say that it made me call Chris and inform him that I am having this baby at home, thank you very much, and there is nothing he can do about it. I will also say that the theme in some of the rooms is early farmhouse with over-handed touches of hideous purple flowers.

They do offer suites and bigger private rooms that actually have windows, (unlike the 2 rooms I saw that had windows completely covered with hurricane shutters, no I am not kidding) but they are on first-come first-serve basis, meaning that if they are all taken when I have this baby, I am stuck in a shared room that Chris can't even stay the night with me in and may or may not have a window I can actually see out of.

I'm trying to have a positive attitude and tell myself that everything will work out and we will be so busy being happy and in love with the baby that I won't care where I am and it is only 2-3 days out of the whole rest of our lives together but it is really hard right now.

are we there yet?

Nobody told me that at 7 months I would already be so over this sleeping-while-pregnant-thing that I would gladly take the no-sleeping-with-a-new-baby-thing.

I am at the point now where my uterus (and cute baby inside) is heavy enough that when I roll over onto my back, I wake up not being able to breath, which was extremely disconcerting at first but now is just really annoying. Try as I might to wedge myself in between a hundred pillows, I still have to roll over a hundred or so times every night because my hips start hurting so bad, and the only position that feels the least bit comfortable after a while is on my back. I still put a pillow under my hips so I am not completely flat but I still wake up breathing really shallow and feeling like I am not getting enough air at all. So what do I do about this? Because I can't imagine going through this for 3 more months. And I am only going to get heavier because right now, Kumar only weighs about 2 1/2 pounds and I told him he is not allowed to come out until he is at least 8 (amended from 10 because, WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING??) so by the time I am ready to deliver I can't imagine how heavy my belly is going to be.

I woke up this morning with an achy back and hip and tonight my back is really kiling me and I put off walking the dog as long as I could because I just couldn't bear the thought of being pulled by him but I also can't bear the thought of not giving him the exercise he needs and deserves and to even imagine how much worse this is going to get is just too much and......

So any suggestions? Has anyone been through this and found something, some miracle, that totally helped? Because I am willing to do anything at this point.

wednesday ramblings

If you will take a look at the bottom of this page, you will see that Kumar's Countdown has changed once again! (Go ahead, look. I'll wait here...)We are at 91 days and counting and have moved over to the (I hope you're sitting down) SEVENTH MONTH! I will give you a moment to collect yourself. I can hardly believe it myself.

Honestly, I am beginning to feel like a bit of a slacker because I really haven't done anything to prepare for this baby that is coming to live here in 3 months. (my exact due date is January 8th, 3 months from this very day OMG!) Sure, I have researched for hours on end the best stroller, car seat, bouncy seat, swing, breast pads, cloth diapers, diaper bag, diaper pail, (I'm just gonna insert an etc. here) but have yet to buy hardly anything except a cute little onesie that I found at baby Gap one day and couldn't resist. So, yeah, my baby has a onesie, and it may even be size 3-6 months so he will be able to wear it for a while but I think I may need a couple more things for him. My mom has been frantically knitting away almost since the day we told her about the baby so he has more sweaters and blankets than a Miami baby can ever hope for (thanks mom!) but things like a crib and a bathtub and things to wash him with and diapers to put on his cute little chubby butt (that I can not wait to squeeeeeze in 3 months OMG) they still need to be purchased and the room that he will one day be his needs to be cleaned out and painted and filled with baby things.... (*deep breaths*)
Still, that little voice in my head keeps telling me that there is plenty of time for all this and a newborn only needs a bassinet and diapers and his mama and he'll be OK for the first few months. It's true right? I have plenty of time right? Because most of the time I listen to that little voice but right now I am feeling a little ill-prepared, what with being faced with that seventh(!!!) baby all lit up at the bottom of my page.
OK, rant over.

On the Chewy front, he was as pathetic as could be all day yesterday, sleeping only on the floor instead of jumping on his favorite bed, chair or couch, and whenever I went anywhere near him, he would run away into another room for fear I would touch him. It was really tough to see and I kept calling Chris in near tears to tell him that I could not take it anymore he is like a dog who has been hit by a car and drags himself into the bushes to lick his wounds OMG what can I do to make him better?

Today, he is showing improvement. We walked about half the distance we normally do in the morning and about 10 minutes ago, he brought me a ball to play with. PROGRESS! Unfortunately, the Dr. said no playing for a week, so I had to just ignore the ball and the pathetic crying at the ball that followed but the crying for the ball is a gazillion times better than the pathetic crying in pain he was doing yesterday so I will take it. Hopefully it is just a strained muscle and he will be back to his old self soon enough. Because on top of the usual pregnancy hormone-induced sensitivity, I can only take the pathetic-ness only so long. I may have to lay down on the floor (as if I could) and cry right next to him.

UPDATE! Chewy is on the bed! Whoo Hoo!

little venice

The last two days, my street and all surrounding streets have been flooding both in the morning and in the afternoon, and lasting about 5 hours each time. Living at sea level and 100 yards from Biscayne Bay, I have gotten used to a small amount of water in the streets at various times in the last four years, but these two days have been the worst ever.

Yesterday afternoon I could not take Chewy to the park because that would mean driving my car through all that water (which is made up of bay water that has come into the street through the sewer system, and this bacteria-ridden brackish water is not something I want to drive my car through, call me crazy.) When I cannot take Chewy to the park, that means we have to take a nice long walk but there was nowhere to walk without facing down foot-high water in the street so we ended up walking in circles for about a half hour.

This morning, after wandering the neighborhood again, I decided to call the Public Works Department of this fair city and.....it didn't go well. Some guy gets on the phone and proceeds to speak to me as if I was a 4 year old needing a lesson on the changing tides and how because it has rained so much the last 2 days (no, it really hasn't rained hardly at all the last 2 days, a couple of showers at night and I don't think it has rained at all in the last 24 hours.) there is nowhere for the water to go so when the tide comes in, the water has to come through the sewers and into the street. Gee, thanks for the lesson, but I have lived here for four years and am VERY familiar with the changing tides and have seen the bay water come up through the sewers many times but NEVER THIS BAD AND ALL I'M ASKING IS WHAT IS BEING DONE ABOUT IT BUT YOU CAN'T HEAR ME BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO BUSY TALKING ABOUT ALL THE RAIN WE HAVE (not)HAD!!!!!!! (*deep, cleansing breaths*)

He really could not answer me. He WAS helpful enough to tell me that the tide would be low again around 11:00 and the streets should correspondingly clear then as well. Thanks. I guess I will begin rearranging my life now around the tides since you are really not giving me any answer to when is this going to stop happening twice a day except for when it stops raining so much. (and it hasn't really been raining anyway so now you are just making me mad!)
My favorite part of the conversation was when he said he would connect me to the "Sewer Supervisor" who I was really excited to speak to, but alas, I only got his voicemail.
Guess he's out somewhere supervising the sewers. In the meantime, I need to go get Chewy a pair of rubber boots to match mine.

looks like somebody's got a case of the mondays

Today is going to be a long one, I can already tell.

I woke up a little before 7 (Guess what? You'll never guess!!) STARVING! So I decided to get an early start and ate some cereal and took Chewy for a nice long walk since it was still so nice out without all that steamy Miami sun. Coming back into the building, I heard "The Mean Dog" who loves to terrorize Chewy and before I could barely get Chewy sitting down, here he comes charging around the corner from the elevator, right at Chewy. Now, this dog doesn't actually bite Chewy, he just rams himself into my poor helpless little fur-boy, all the while growling and barking and sounding generally pissed-off at the world. Chewy is so scared of this dog but he is also not one to just cower, so he starts barking and rearing up and growling and the whole thing is just so stressful and there is only so much I can do to get this dog off Chewy while trying to control Chewy and keep myself from being attacked by this crazy dog, short of throwing myself between them, which I used to do but being 6 months pregnant, I cannot do this anymore.

Of course, the owner of The Mean Dog is a total jerk and slowly walks up to his dog (who is NEVER ON A LEASH!) puts him on the leash, and walks away. He doesn't apologize or ask if I'm OK or if Chewy is OK. I am yelling at him at this point, "Just put your dog on a leash! Please! At least here in the building! Put him on a leash!" This has happened 4 or 5 times now in the last year or so and it would have happened more but I am now on alert when I walk through the building and listen for the little bugger running through the garage or the stairwell and sometimes I am able to get out of the way before he gets to us. I just don't think it's too much to ask for a person who knows their dog has an attitude problem to leash his dog so he can be controlled before something bad happens.

And that's another thing. This dog was attacked right outside our building by a dog less nice than Chewy. His ear was torn off and you would think that after that, this guy would want to have his dog close by him on a leash instead of running free. But, alas, he does not. I also hear him at least once a week yelling at his dog outside because he has run into the street and it's a wonder this dog is still alive and I am not completely convinced that the guy gets that or even cares. It's just so frustrating!

OK, end of rant.

As I mentioned earlier, I woke up starving again today and have not stopped eating since. Besides the initial bowl of cereal, I have eaten oatmeal, frozen waffles and my attempt at a potato fritata. It's 11:45 and I am hungry again. I don't want to talk about what I saw when I stepped on the scale yesterday. I go back to the Dr. next Tuesday at which time I will see the full extent of the damage, plus I have to take my gestational diabetes test. UGH!
I will talk about my preparations for this test later in the week. Apparently there are ways to eat in the days before the test to improve your chances of getting a good result.

And, in the spirit of full disclosure, I took some new pictures to send to NY on Friday. Are you ready for this? You might want to stand back.





Now I am off to see how to remove an entire pen's worth of ink from a load of laundry. Oh yes. The hits just keep on coming.

sleep (also the most whiny and boring post ever)

This past week I have had a really hard time getting a good night's sleep and it is really starting to feel like I will NEVER sleep a full night again for the rest of my life, forever and ever, AMEN.

There are a couple of reasons for this. One is the peeing thing, but that is something that I did before I was pregnant and have learned to live with it. Next, the eating thing is quite annoying because that means I have to get up, go to the kitchen, open the fridge (do you have ANY IDEA how bright the refrigerator light is at 5 in the morning?) make a bowl of cereal, then I have to wait at least 20 minutes before I can lay down again or it's in my throat. Then I have to brush my teeth again because I can't even take a nap during the day if I haven't brushed my teeth. (just another little quirk I have) By the time I finish all of this, an hour has gone by and I'm WIDE AWAKE! I refuse to give in a stay up at 5 or even 6 in the morning because I know I am tired and will have a horrible day if I start it like that, so I finally drift back off around 7-7:30 and don't wake up again until 9 or later. And that's just too late because to walk Chewy then means there is very little shade left to walk in and it is already over 80 degrees out so it's just a miserable walk and I usually cut it short and we all know that I need to walk as much as possible (27 pounds gained so far!).

The last reason I don't sleep well (and this is what contributes the most to the waking up) is my hips and lower back hurting. All the books say that I should be sleeping on my left side and to put a pillow behind me (against by back/butt) and another pillow in front of me to cushion the belly but I still wake up all the time with a stabbing pain in my left hip and have to roll over. I used to be able to roll onto my back and sleep that way for a little while to alleviate the pressure but now it hurts to lay on my back so I have to roll to the other side and within an hour or two, I wake up with the pain in the right hip and have to roll back and start over again. This contributes to the peeing thing (if I'm awake, I might as well go pee and I have had such fear put into me about holding it in too long so even if I only have to kinda go, I go anyway) and then by the time I get back into bed I'm wide awake and am either starving or just can't go back to sleep and the thousands of things I have left to do to prepare for this baby start running through my head and then who can sleep when I have all the problems of the world to solve? UGH!

Soooooo.... (long story even longer) Last night I put a pillow between my knees and OMG! It really helped a lot(!!) and after waking up at 3 and going right back to sleep, I slept straight through until 7:00! And at this point, I can totally deal with that. I also did some yoga yesterday afternoon which I'm thinking may have contributed to being sleepier and maybe a little looser so I will try both the yoga today and the pillow tonight and hopefully this will help me to sleep better, at least until another thing pops up that keeps me from sleeping (like a screaming child).
Also, Chris is going to NY tonight until Monday so I will have the whole bed and all 859 pillows on our bed to myself so I can completely wrap myself in pillows! Whoo Hoo!!

i'm totally reminding him of this when he is 16 and wants to borrow the car

The last week or so I have been feeling Kumar kick like crazy. Everything I have read says that babies sleep more than they are awake but I don't believe it because it seems like he is kicking all. the. time. All of those grilled cheese sandwiches are starting to pay off too because he is getting strong enough where I can feel and see it from the outside. At night he is the most active, especially around 4 am when I get up to pee for the 30th time of the night and I lay back down and feel the THUMP THUMP THUMP of his little arms and legs against my vital organs.

This is where the blackmail comes in.

His favorite thing to do is to tap-dance on my bladder and/or cervix and for those of you who have never had a little alien inside of you, it is the creepiest and most annoying feeling in the world.

Yesterday I went to get a haircut and I had to go pee three times in the hour I was in the salon because as soon as I would get comfortable in the chair, WHAM! there he goes like Matthew Mcconaughey on the Bongos.

Yes, I am going to be the kind of mother who totally uses this against my kid in 16 years. After all, I am the kind of mom that takes pictures like this:

toasted

There is an on-going problem in this country and I think it's about time I address it. I believe this issue runs deeper than anyone is willing to talk about but I have never been afraid to tell the truth and this truth needs to be told.

It seems the makers of electronics in this country are too busy making the world's thinnest and lightest TV and have forgotten about something so simple, so basic, so gosh-darn American, it's a crime. It's impossible to find a well-priced toaster that actually does what it's name itself says it will do. To toast. To heat and crisp-up our bread, muffins, bagels, even my frozen waffle that I am so excited about lately.

I know I am not the only person having this problem, having spoken to many (OK 3) other people about this, and we all have the same problem. Either the bread/muffin/bagel comes out browned on one side and barely warm on the other, or it takes 2-3 push-downs in order to come up with an acceptable level of toasty-ness. Or, you bring home your gorgeous new shiny toaster and all is well for days or weeks or even months until the morning you realize you have pushed this piece of barely-tanned bread down 3 times and it's just not willing to go any darker.

Why is this? Compared to many other household appliances, one would think the toaster would be the most basic; the appliance that has the least asked of it. Some appliances can pre-wash, cook an entire meal while it's owner is at work, even vacuum your house while you take a bath (a-la the Jetsons). So how hard is it to make toast??? Apparently, more than we can even imagine.

But there is hope. I have found a website that feels our pain and tests and rates toasters in all price ranges. It can be found here.

You might think this solves my problem and I can stop complaining already PLEASE! But alas, no. For some reason this website completely ignores toaster-ovens and this is something I cannot live without. I don't have a microwave and have learned to adapt and even enjoy that only by using a toaster-oven to heat things one might normally use a microwave for. Therefore, it's a deal-breaker and I need to continue my quest.

I really hope this helps someone though, because don't we all deserve a little slice of warm, buttery, well-toasted goodness?

just wondering

Exactly how much cologne do you have to put on in order to stink up an entire stairwell??

Were you spraying the cologne while walking down the stairs?

The people of the world beg you for your restraint.

Thank You.

blubber

Hi there. Yes, I am still alive and still in NY. Things have just been very very busy and I have been very very tired but happy nonetheless.

Today I was able to sleep in because it's my one day off during this trip, however Kumar has been having other ideas. I have woken up every morning I've been here between 5-6AM starving and unable to go back to sleep until I eat something and it's making me wonder; is it too early to give my child a time-out? To ground him? How about just a stern talking to? Because I'm as tired as I can be, yet the hunger overcomes all other needs at all times, and it makes no difference to him that the sun is barely up and I have to wake up at 7 can't-you-just-wait-2-more-hours-please?!?!?!?!?

So, I woke up at 5:15 this morning and then went back to sleep until 7 when my alarm went off (forgot to turn it off) and then around 8:30, I finally gave up and got up for good.

Today I had to address the problem that some of the clothes I brought with me on this trip are just not fitting properly, especially pants but even some shirts, so I had to go do some clothes shopping this afternoon. The problem is, anything that looks decent now is going to be way too small in a couple of months but anything I buy with room to grow looks kind of silly now.
So, I had a hard time and ended up getting a cute dress that will be too small in a couple months (but I love it and will wear it later) and a pair of comfy linen cargo-type pants that are a size 8(!!) that fit well if I let them fall on the hips and I guarantee I will be living in in a few months.

I wanted to get more and maybe I will this week but shopping has never been so hard before. This is just such a weird time because I don't really look pregnant, just like I've been having way too many burgers.

There are worse problems I could have.

happy friday

I saw Anna Kornikova at the gym today. It took me a while to recognize her but she kind of stuck out because there were only 3 other people there and she was working with a trainer and jumping on and off a weight bench like a crazy person. I can't really describe what she was doing but it involved stepping onto a high bench and then swinging her leg into a high-step before jumping back down and starting over. It looked full-body painful.

Anyway, she was wearing long pants and a long sleeved shirt but between sets, she would walk around a little bit and at one point, she lifted up her shirt in the back and............

.......Anna's got a Tramp Stamp.

Now, I don't want to sound like the old lady who talks down to the young whipper-snappers but when are these young girls gonna learn? I know girls who got tattoos 10-15 years ago, before every young Paris Hilton wanna-be had one, but these things are just becoming way too common.
Kids these days.....

Well, because it's Friday, I leave you with a scene from one of the great movies of the 8o's. In a time before Tramp Stamps, there was the young and handsome John Cusak and his boom box:

sign of the times

CNN is running a story today about (mostly middle-aged) women in Santa Barbara, CA who are living in their cars. These women have lost their homes for various reasons and even though most of them have jobs (ironically enough, one woman is actually a mortgage processor) it is not enough for them to afford a place to live.

The city of Santa Barbara has opened up parking lots for "women only" to let them sleep in their cars from 7PM to 7AM. There are no bathroom facilities available but it is a safe area that is gated off at night and they can sleep there without anybody bothering them. Other cities around the country are actually looking into having a program like this as well.

While I applaud the city of Santa Barbara for doing something to help these women, I know the people we see are just a small fraction of the homeless people who are actually out there and go largely unnoticed around the country. I can't help but think there has to be a better way to help these people besides allowing them a place to sleep without being arrested or murdered, but not giving them anything more to just get back on their feet.

Unlike most homeless people in this country, these women don't seem to be addicted to drugs or suffering from mental illness, but rather they seem like you and me. This really is something that can happen to anyone; anyone without perfect planning for the future or with a run of bad luck. We all need to be constantly on the alert, always thinking about the future. Chris and I have recently begun seriously putting money away for the future and paying off credit cards and student loans and only paying with cash and all those things Suze Ormand and others tell you to do but this gives me a new appreciation for the fact that I have the opportunity and the ability to do that. Some people live paycheck-to-paycheck and if they get sick or injured or fired, within weeks, they could just lose everything.
I really don't have and answer, but the government can't just ignore this because the way the economy is going, there is only going to be more of this in the next few months and years.

(*deep breaths*)And now, I am going to go give my dog a bath. That always makes me feel better. The rant is over.

hold me

Let me begin by saying my brain has just not been working the last few days. Possibly due to only having extremely small amounts of caffeine and possibly for other reasons (which I will not go into right now)

Let's just leave it at- the brain, she is mush.

That said, I would like to explore the on-going gas problem we in the United States are experiencing right now. Now, I have rented cars and driven in Europe a few times, so I am well aware that gas is MUCH more expensive there than it is here. It seems we are trying to catch up with them though.

I do believe that there is a silver lining in gas prices being so high, in that perhaps it will give some people incentive to buy smaller, more efficient cars. This is not a quick answer though, and it will take some people more time than others to get on the bandwagon and out of their ridiculous Hummers, Land Rovers, Escalades, etc.

However, when we start to see things like I've been seeing in Miami-it's just plain scary. These two pictures were taken at the same gas station near my house about a week apart.

Holy Wow - whoever doesn't belive gas will be $200. a barrell by August, please tell me why. I'm scared.

quien es mas macho?

Living in Miami, you learn to drive in a very different way than you do in other parts of the country. I once compared driving here to juggling puppies. Puppies that are on fire. And then they poop on you.

One common phenomenon in this town is the Macho Driver(MD). The MD can be male or female, the only important thing is that he/she is infinitely more important than anyone else around them. They drive as close as possible to the person in front of them, and if the person in front of them dares to drive a little slower than they wish, or believe the MD is not turning because their blinker is not on, LOOK OUT!

Below is a perfect example of the MD in action:

These two blocked the intersection for at least 5 minutes screaming and just begging each other to let him show the world how macho he really is.

Then they both got in their cars and drove off.

OK - we get it guys- you both have major testosterone, and huevos the size of a Pomeranian.

Now-go drink a cortadito and shut up. Some of us are trying to take a nap.

for you pretty lady - $200.00 (partII)

Things I learned about collection agencies and the hospital:

1. Apparently there is a high level of turnover at these places because it seems that whenever I call and ask to speak to the person I spoke to last time (AKA the person I may not have to tell the whole story to AGAIN) they are not available/off that day/at lunch/just got eaten by a shark.


2. Representatives are so uneasy about giving you any information (including their own names) that it seems they are protecting some sort of State Secrets. Maybe I should start working for one of these places undercover and find out what all the secrecy is about. My guess is they just hate their job so much that to think of having to actually talk to the same person more that once is enough to push them over the edge. So, when you ask their name, they will answer with either "Ron" or "Mrs. Jones". (Kinda like the IRS. Have you ever noticed how every letter from the IRS is signed by "Mrs. Jones"?) (OK yes- I have gotten way too many letters from the IRS in my past. That is a whoooole 'nother story.)


3. The hospital jacks up their prices so much because they figure the bill will be paid by an insurance company, where nobody will question the separate charge of $732. from the hospital for Emergency Room Visit *AND* $583. Emergency Room Visit charge -billed separately from the doctor. Additionally, the doctor charges $671. for "repairing superficial wounds" (which he did not do, the pimply-faced Nursery School student did) (and not very well-please see application of krazy glue ) AND the biggest smack in the face, a $32. charge for "medical services 10PM-8AM". Who knew the ER doctor charges you extra for making him work after-hours??


4. Because these prices are so jacked up, once you call these people to talk about your bill, almost the first thing out of their mouths is "if you pay today with a credit card, we can give you a 60% discount." Which would make almost anyone who is just trying to do the right thing and pay a bill that they rightfully owe to just agree, thank them for the discount and pay it. (kinda like in a 5th Avenue Rug store, where Going Out of Business signs have been up for 10 years and they have a "Special Sale. Only today-big discount just for you". )


5. I used to be that kind of person, until I did pay what I thought was the entire bill (with a 60% discount, thank you very much) only to receive another bill from another company for almost the same amount. Turns out, the lady I spoke to misled me into believing this was the entire bill when it wasn't. This is when I turned to my dear, sweet, understanding husband, also known as SuperLawyer!!


6. Not even SuperLawyer can get information out of these people. Luckily, the company I have been dealing with are a lot nicer and even offered to send me an itemized bill so I would know exactly what it is I am paying for. Big, mean evil other company, not so much, so far.


7. Big, Mean Evil Other Company are no match for SuperLawyer. He will break them, even if it is the last thing he does.

for you pretty lady-$200.00 (Part I)

Back in October, I was unloading the dishwasher and a wine glass broke in my hand and cut my thumb. Now, being the tough broad that I am (stop laughing!!) I wrapped it up tightly in 3-4 band aids and got on with my day. Later that night, (about 6 hours later) Chris asked to see it, and the second the band aid was unwrapped, the blood started gushing.

"You have to go to the hospital and get that stitched", said my sweet, concerned husband.

"No- I think it will be OK" said the terrified chicken (hereby known as me).


After a bit of negotiating, including the words, "You have insurance, you should just go and get it taken care of. It's no big deal."

No less-true words have been spoken.


Now, the story of the Mt Sinai ER at 10:00 on a Tuesday night is a story in itself. Let's just suffice it to say it is run by teenagers. At least that's the way it seemed to me.

From the person who checked me in, to the x-ray "technicians" (U M Med students), to the pimple-faced resident/intern/nursery school student who did the actual stitching, I do not exaggerate when I say 90% of the people I dealt with that night were younger than me. By at least 10 years.

The only doctor I saw the whole time was some guy who came in, looked at the finger, ordered (unnecessary) x-rays (b/c I later found out that one cannot see glass on an x-ray so what was he looking for when I made it perfectly clear that this cut was created by GLASS), and glanced at it once again when the stitches were done. He then pointed out to the pimple-faced kid that he missed a stitch in the center and after my screams of fear and protest, told Kid to just glue it. (With crazy glue! Why all the needles when we could have done crazy glue all along?!?!?)
(PS-I had just finished telling Chris about the missed stitch and how I could totally live with it right before this so maybe I should go to medical school too)

So-once I was home with my finger wrapped in a ridiculous amount of gauze and my Tylenol PM for the pain, I thought - OK It's over with. At least I have insurance and I don't have to worry about this any more.

Until (UNTIL!) a couple of months later, I get a bill from the hospital. So, I fill out the back where it asks for insurance info (I already did this at the hospital but - Kids who run hospitals get things messed up sometime so I will tell them again) Still NBD.

Then I started getting a lot of bills. Bills with the words "Collection" on them. Bills that told me there was something wrong. Now, mind you, I have not heard one word from my insurance company (Hereby known as Bumana to protect the *cough* innocent)

Instead I called Bumana myself and told them I was getting bills that they should be taking care of. That is, after all why I saw off a limb each month and mail it to them in a little envelope. So when bad things happen, I don't have to worry right?!?!?

Wrong. I was informed that I have a $9000.00 ER Deductible. (That's right. Go back and count the 00000's.) And so, I am left to pay this out of pocket.

Me-"But I was never told there was a separate deductible for the ER. And definitely not that it was $9000.00"

Mean Nasty Bumana Lady-("HAHAHAHAHAHA SUCKERRR!!")

Me-"So why do I pay you hundreds of dollars every month if you don't cover an almost $3000.00 ER bill?"

MNBL- "Too bad. So sad. Why don't you cry about it."
(No, I'm lying, what she really said was-now get this-)

"You have insurance for catastrophic injuries. Once you reach the ($9000.00) deductible, we would pay everything else."

Me-"............."

Bottom line- there is nothing whey were willing to do. Joke's on me.

Ans here is where I begin my adventure in Collection Agency Land!!!

Stay Tuned...
(To be Continued)