is it too late to re-think this whole thing?

Today I went to the hospital for a tour of Labor and Maternity. It was.....not as reassuring as I thought it would be. I think I'm going to need a little more time for it to all sink in before I fully talk about it but I will say that it made me call Chris and inform him that I am having this baby at home, thank you very much, and there is nothing he can do about it. I will also say that the theme in some of the rooms is early farmhouse with over-handed touches of hideous purple flowers.

They do offer suites and bigger private rooms that actually have windows, (unlike the 2 rooms I saw that had windows completely covered with hurricane shutters, no I am not kidding) but they are on first-come first-serve basis, meaning that if they are all taken when I have this baby, I am stuck in a shared room that Chris can't even stay the night with me in and may or may not have a window I can actually see out of.

I'm trying to have a positive attitude and tell myself that everything will work out and we will be so busy being happy and in love with the baby that I won't care where I am and it is only 2-3 days out of the whole rest of our lives together but it is really hard right now.