*You are sitting in a chair and realize that you would pay someone $5000. to go to the bathroom for you and bring you a cup of coffee.
*Poop is an acceptable dinner subject
*You pride yourself in being able to eat salad without dropping anything on baby's head
*You are standing in your kitchen alone, swaying to comfort an invisible baby, and shove the remaining 1/4 of a PBJ into your mouth so you will be able to finish it and also pee before the cries escalate from level 1 to LEVEL 4!!
*You absentmindedly call your husband "buddy" and refuse to apologize for it
*You have not been on time for anything in 3 months and stopped caring 2 months ago
*Any day you have not gotten pooped/peed on is a great day
*Any day where you have accomplished 2 of the 10 things on your list is a great day
*It is 3:00 in the afternoon and you realize you have not looked in the mirror all day, let alone brushed your hair. Showering is something you may have done yesterday, you can't quite remember.
* You have written this entire post with one hand while holding up a picture book for someone to look at with the other.