Lately I have been watching a lot of those Baby Shows on TLC and Discovery Health channels during the day, and today I believe I witnessed the winner for the most insensitive husband on the planet.
This was on the show called "The Baby Diaries" that follows a couple from the birth and then goes home with them and shows what it is like the first 6 weeks or so with a newborn.
As the show begins, the wife casually mentions that her husband's best friend is having a bachelor party 3 days after her due date and that she doesn't think he is going to be able to make it unless she goes way over due and even then...
Next he tells the camera that he told his friend he is "tentative on it. But I'd really like to go."(Strike 1)
Next we see this poor woman in labor two days after her due date (the day before the bachelor party) and after she labors at home for a couple of hours, she tells him, "We have to get going. We're down to 4 minutes" (between contractions)
His response? "I gotta go brush my teeth." (Strike 2)
She is bent over against the wall next to the front door and we see him nonchalantly drinking a glass of juice in the kitchen. ( Strike 3. This is when she wishes she had the strength to water-board him with that juice.)
OK, so we're finally in the delivery room and the Dr has just said, "I can see the head"
The guy looks at the camera and says, " I have a hard time stomaching this. It's hard on me." (D"OH! I have now lost count on strikes and he's just warming up!)
The Dr. asks the woman if she would like to look in a mirror so she can see the baby coming out. The guy (who has only been at her shoulder this whole time) makes a face and asks his wife, " Are you sure you want to see that?"
And to top it all off, as the baby's head is just coming out, his cellphone rings and, you guessed it! Husband of the Year...... ANSWERS IT!!!!
We hear him say, "I don't think so bud, we'll see what happens but uh, she's having the baby right now." After he hangs up, he walks back over to the wife and starts explaining to her that his friend was wondering if he was going to drive to the party.
Next they are back at home and we hear that he goes to the bachelor party "But only for a couple of beers." And he is back to work 2 days later.
Wonderful husband has given her a to-do list of things to do while she is at home (because she really is on vacation from work and has lots of time on her hands, right? What with a newborn and a 2 year old. That's right, she has 2 kids with this bozo now)
Luckily, her mother was able to come and help her out during the day for the first few weeks because God knows she is not getting any support from OTHER PEOPLE.
Towards the end of the show, we see that The Husband has began to help out more around the house and even "given her time to go to the gym." So maybe he's not so bad after all. Maybe he just doesn't deal well under pressure? Maybe he is a real saint? Maybe I just feel this way because of the hormones?
And maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt.